The Psychology of Persuasion

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Behavioral scientist have found 6 basic laws that make up the science of persuasion. These 6 fundamental laws work by appealing to deeply rooted human needs.

The six basic laws are:

· Liking
· Reciprocity
· Social Proof
· Consistency
· Authority
· Scarcity

In this 6 part series we will solve the puzzle of persuasion one piece at a time.

Liking

What do Rapport, Connection and Affection all have in common? They are all a form of ‘Liking’. How important is Liking? Behavioral scientist have discovered that the more someone likes you or perceives you to be like them they are more willing to buy from you or feel compelled to perform a requested task.

Many of us remember the Tupperware revolution. Tupperware was king and it seemed like everyone was throwing a Tupperware party. These parties were so successful that there was a Tupperware party every 2.7 seconds somewhere in the world.

So what was behind the success of the Tupperware parties? Did a representative from Tupperware Inc. get neighborhoods together to buy Tupperware?

No, not quite, the genius behind the Tupperware success was that ordinary housewives would host Tupperware parties, and invite all of her neighborhood friends over. They would engage in conversation, eat hors d’oeuvres and then they would open their purses and buy and buy and buy.

Why? Because they like the hostess – they felt compelled to buy. They wanted to please the hostess, so they made the purchase. Even if they did not need the Tupperware they rationalized that they would find a use for it or give it away as a gift. (There are other powers at play here; many times 2-3 of the laws of persuasion comes into play. In this instance, Liking, Reciprocity, Social Proof and Consistency are also involved. Authority and Scarcity play very minor roles but are involved as well.) Tupperware became so successful with this business model that they closed out a majority of their retail outlets.
Businesses know how important it is for their clients and prospects to like them.

Automobile sales people are taught to ask questions and to look for clues that tell them about your likes and dislikes. For example, let’s say that you are trading in a car so you can purchase a new car. The salesman comes out to inspect the car. He takes a good look at you, shakes your hand and smiles, and then begins to inspect the trade-in. The salesman opens your trunk and sees a golf bag; he quickly makes a mental note. He continues the inspection, noticing a book on fishing on the front seat, and a couple of jazz cd’s. He now has an arsenal of information.

The salesman can now make friendly conversation with topics he knows you are interested. He might say, “Are you off work for the rest of the day, it’s a beautiful day to play golf.” Or he could ask you about your favorite place to fish or about jazz. He can then lead you down a path of bonding, showing you just how much you two are alike. Most good sales people will also use a myriad of techniques such as copying your body language, your voice patterns etc.. This builds up an even stronger connection.

How does the salesman close the deal? By complimenting you, by telling you that you look great in the new car, and that the car seems to fit your personality. He might add that I can tell you are the type of person that doesn’t settle for less than the best. Now as you read this, you may think to yourself, I would never be affected by false flattery. I wish I could agree, but human behavior can be a very tricky thing. Many times we don’t trust ourselves to be able to say “no” in a sales or pressure situation. How many of you have walked a huge semi circle around boy scouts selling cookies because you do not want to have to deal with the conflict. You may have just bought a box last week, but a part of you still feels uncomfortable – and you go to another door, or walk out of your way to avoid the situation.

The University of North Carolina published an article in the “Journal of Experimental Social Psychology” and here is what they discovered. *“Men felt the greatest regard for an individual who flattered them unstintingly even if the comments were untrue.”

The book Interpersonal Attraction (Addison-Wesley) showed that positive remarks (compliments, flattery) about another persons traits, attitude or performance reliably generates liking in return as well as willing compliance with the wishes of the person offering praise.

The final caveat is this. The sales person has adroitly used his “liking skills” to create a rapport with you. He still however has one more card up his sleeve to prove his friendship and accentuate his likeability.

The salesman’s manager will play the role of villain allowing your salesman to go to battle on your behalf for the new car. After experiencing this tempest that the salesman has endured and his selfless loyalty to get you a great deal, you now feel you have no recourse than to comply.

As you can see liking is very powerful, and when we are put in certain situations it is very difficult for us to say no.

Motivational Coach Tony Robins gives us an example of this. When Tony was in his teens he very much wanted to be successful, and he began selling motivational tapes door to door. He quickly figured out a way to guarantee the sale of his tapes. He would approach the house and talk about his tapes. He would say the tapes are only $99 but they will change your life! He would then ask, don’t you think these tapes could change your life? The person would agree with him, but then add – “I would love to buy the tapes, but I don’t have a tape recorder”, Tony would nod and say, “I see, but you do see the value of the tapes, but the only thing stopping you from making the purchase is you don’t have a tape recorder”. The person would say yes, thinking that they had won. Tony would then pull out a tape recorder from under his jacket and say. “Well if that was the only thing holding you back, I should have mentioned that the tapes come with a free tape recorder.” Feeling there was no place to retreat, the person would give in and buy. Unfortunately, our behaviors will make us remain consistent with who we are (or are at the moment) even to our detriment. Tony later said that he felt horrible selling this way, as it took advantage of basic human behaviors.

I certainly do not condone using Liking unethically. I feel that liking can be used in such a way to help bring you closer together with a client or a prospect. Liking can be gentle probing questions that allow you to find a commonality between you and your client. This will allow you to speak openly and freely with the individual and allow you to establish a true “Liking” and relationship. No strings attached.

No one likes to be duped, and you do not want to create animosity between yourself and your client. Find something that you truly like about your client and compliment them on that. It may be their work ethic, their family, their educational background, their knowledge of sports; their passion for reading, anything that is truly congruent with the way you feel will help build a positive “liking” relationship.

Friends like to do business with friends that have their best interest at heart.

In the next issue we will discuss the law of reciprocity.

Copyright 2007 Stephen Knight