Our Iceberg is Melting Book Review

Add to del.icio.us

A few years ago Kenneth Blanchard released a book entitled “Who Moved My Cheese”. The book was a great fable about two mice. One thought his piece of cheese would last forever, and never bothered to go and explore and look for new cheese. The other mouse began exploring looking for new cheese, creating new opportunities.

Now comes a new fable, one written by John Kotter. In this book, one of the penguins observes that the iceberg that his colony is living on is melting. He must use a vast array of tools to convince the town elders, the critics, the masses and doomsayers that the iceberg is melting and that new options need to be explored. All of the characters in the book, Fred, Ann, Nono, Louis, Jordan, are all based on real life characters. Many of them you will quickly recognize from your workplace and day-to-day life.

Knowing that he will need the support of everyone in the community, he gathers together a select group of penguins each with different problem solving skills. Kotter infuses his 8 principles of problem solving in this story. Faced with certain tragedy Kotter shows how the penguins, identified the problem, created urgency, developed a tem-building structure and stepped outside the box.

The book is very short, and takes only a couple hours to read, you will feel energized after reading the book and ready to make some changes in your life and the way that you communicate with others.

A quick summary of Dr. Kotter’s Eight Steps for Change

1. Set the stage – create a sense of urgency
2. Pull together the guiding group – make sure there is a powerful diverse group guiding the change.
3. Decide what to do – develop the change vision and strategy, clarify how the future will be different from the past
4. Make it happen – communicate for understanding, make sure that as many as possible understand and accept the vision and strategy
5. Empower others to act – remove as many barriers as possible
6. Create short term wins – create some visible unambiguous successes as soon as possible
7. Don’t let up – press harder and faster after the first success
8. Make it stick – create a new culture – hold on to the new way of behaving

I hope that you enjoy this great book as much as I did.

Copyright 2007 Stephen Knight

Read more!

Commitments & Consistency

Add to del.icio.us

“It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

People fulfill written, public, and voluntary commitments.

If you need something done, there are a couple of ways to make people feel committed.

One way is good turns. Do something nice for the person and they feel committed to return the favor or nicety. This works some of the time, not all of the time.

An even more powerful persuasive technique is to get them to make the commitment public. When someone makes a public commitment, they are much more likely to follow through. This technique is extremely powerful as individuals, once they have made a public commitment, like to remain consistent with who they are.

Here’s a "Jim" of a story

Here’s an example. Let’s say that you have an employee, and his name is Jim. Jim is responsible for turning in the daily sales reports. Every day Jim is late turning in the reports.

You have spoken to Jim on numerous occasions telling him that the reports must be turned in on time. Nothing seems to work. You are now frustrated, you could fire Jim, but he has some great qualities that could prove to be an extremely valuable asset to the company. Jim has numerous clients that love him, and he values his relationships with these clients.

How can we help Jim? Unknowingly we have done a disservice to Jim as well as ourselves. Jim is just acting consistently with who we said that he is. “Jim is always late with the reports”. You have labeled Jim, the other employees have labeled Jim, and now he is behaving consistent with his label because that is what is expected of him.

It sounds crazy, but it is true, we have to be careful what we believe and what labels we allow others to give us.

How do you fix the problem?

You have Jim commit publicly to getting the reports done on time, but you also commend him for something that he values. This needs to be done subtly and caringly, or you will create animosity and Jim will react in hurt and anger instead.

You simply call a staff meeting. You ask everyone for reports on what they are doing, what they are working on etc… When you get to Jim, you ask him about the sales reports. You come up with a definitive time that the sales reports need to be turned in. You ask the others to help Jim and to make sure that they have their information to him in plenty of time for him to reach this goal. You ask Jim, if he agrees to have the reports done and turned in by 11. You wait for his affirmative reply.

You thank him, and then compliment him on his sales and the value that he adds to the company. You are not finished. After the meeting thank Jim for his commitment, and then, send an email to everyone with a few minutes from the meeting. Make sure that you again let everyone know that they need to have their reports in as Jim will need them to make his daily 11 o’clock deadline.

You send Jim a private email as well thanking him again, and letting him know how that you are happy about getting the reports on time. Let him know that you have passed around the email to everyone, and that they all know that he must have the reports in by 11:00. Go on to explain a little how the reports will be helpful in serving the customers that Jim values so highly. Ask him to send a response, letting you know that he received and read the email.

Jim has now committed publicly, he has been given a new label, and he sees how his reports will help his customers.

Psychologically there seems to be a strong correlation about taking an action to solidify commitments. Make them public, and get them in writing.

* In the Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, college students were asked to estimate the length of lines projected on a screen.

Group A. Were asked to write down their answers, sign them and hand them in.
Group B. Were asked to write their choices down on an erasable slate, and then erase their answers
Group C. Were asked to think of the answers and keep them to themselves

The experimenters then presented all three groups with evidence that their initial choices may have been wrong.

Group C, the ones that kept the answers to themselves, were easily persuaded to reconsider their answers.

Group B, were more loyal to their original answers and were not easily swayed from their answers

Group A, were the most reluctant to shift, they would not be persuaded that their answers were incorrect. They were committed to their answer and wanted to stay consistent.

Individuals will go through an amazing amount of personal and interpersonal pressure to remain consistent. Even in situations where it is not sensible to be that way. Consistency allows us to move through life much of the time without having to be introspective, without having to think through each process or decision that confronts us. Pros and Cons are diluted in Consistency, we just “keep the course” and follow through with our consistent behavior even if it is a path to our own detriment.

How can we use commitment and consistency in Marketing or in a positive way? Think about Jim’s story. Here is another quick story about a Puppy that changed a little boy’s label.

The story of the Puppy

Recently I was getting my hair cut and I was having a nice conversation with my hair stylist. She told me that her 7-year-old son Tyler was terrifed of dogs. Tyler would go into a panic attack every time he saw a dog. I asked the obvious question if he had ever been attacked by a dog, or seen anyone be attacked by a dog.

She said no. She said she could not understand why he was so frightened. She was even more distressed as she was to watch her sister’s brand new 6-week-old puppy for two weeks while her sister traveled. They had brought the puppy over to introduce to Tyler, and Tyler climbed up on the couch screaming, afraid to let his feet even off the couch if the puppy was nearby.

I asked Mary if she had discussed this with her son. I asked her if she had asked him why he was afraid, and IF her son had heard her use the words he is “afraid of dogs” or he is “scared to death” of dogs. I know I would hate to be scared to death of anything.

She said yes, that he had heard her speak to her husband this way as well as to friends over the phone. He had been labeled and formed a belief that yes, he was afraid of dogs. He was now performing in a way that was consistent with his label, what was expected of him.

I asked Mary if she would be willing to perform a very simple experiment that I thought might help. She readily agreed.

When your sister brings the puppy over, please have her keep the puppy in the dog carrier. I then want you to sit down on the floor with Tyler in front of the crate and I want you to talk to Tyler. I want you to tell Tyler that this is a baby puppy that is very fragile. This baby puppy needs an older brother, a friend, someone to look after him because he is very lonely. Tell him that this puppy will completely depend on him for love, and for food. Remind him that this puppy needs all of the things that a good mother or father would give. Tell him that you would like him to assume the role as the puppy’s father, as the provider. If the puppy is sick, he will let you know. Remind him that the puppy needs him just like he needs his parents. Let him also know that he will set up puppy rules and discipline the puppy, and help potty train the puppy.

Mary was very excited about this idea. I told her this would allow Tyler to create a new, more powerful belief in who he was. That now you would free him from being “scared to death” of dogs, and be more of a caretaker – a provider.

Last week I went back to Mary. I could tell that she was very excited. She said that she had talked with Tyler and that Tyler had assumed the role of the dog’s caregiver. She said that when they had to return the puppy to her sister that Tyler was very upset, and held the puppy in his lap all the way to her house.

Tyler and Mary have now decided to get their own dog. Being committed to consistency can control us and deprive us of things that can add value to our lives. But, if we find a positive way to change our beliefs and immediately replace that change with something empowering and fulfilling, we can break through the mold of consistency. Changed thinking can change behavior.


Copyright 2007 FMWebschool Inc. 800.353.7950 http://www.fmwebschool.com

* 1996 Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Delia Cioffi and Randy Garner

Read more!

The Psychology of Persuasion

Add to del.icio.us


Behavioral scientist have found 6 basic laws that make up the science of persuasion. These 6 fundamental laws work by appealing to deeply rooted human needs.

The six basic laws are:

· Liking
· Reciprocity
· Social Proof
· Consistency
· Authority
· Scarcity

In this 6 part series we will solve the puzzle of persuasion one piece at a time.

Liking

What do Rapport, Connection and Affection all have in common? They are all a form of ‘Liking’. How important is Liking? Behavioral scientist have discovered that the more someone likes you or perceives you to be like them they are more willing to buy from you or feel compelled to perform a requested task.

Many of us remember the Tupperware revolution. Tupperware was king and it seemed like everyone was throwing a Tupperware party. These parties were so successful that there was a Tupperware party every 2.7 seconds somewhere in the world.

So what was behind the success of the Tupperware parties? Did a representative from Tupperware Inc. get neighborhoods together to buy Tupperware?

No, not quite, the genius behind the Tupperware success was that ordinary housewives would host Tupperware parties, and invite all of her neighborhood friends over. They would engage in conversation, eat hors d’oeuvres and then they would open their purses and buy and buy and buy.

Why? Because they like the hostess – they felt compelled to buy. They wanted to please the hostess, so they made the purchase. Even if they did not need the Tupperware they rationalized that they would find a use for it or give it away as a gift. (There are other powers at play here; many times 2-3 of the laws of persuasion comes into play. In this instance, Liking, Reciprocity, Social Proof and Consistency are also involved. Authority and Scarcity play very minor roles but are involved as well.) Tupperware became so successful with this business model that they closed out a majority of their retail outlets.
Businesses know how important it is for their clients and prospects to like them.

Automobile sales people are taught to ask questions and to look for clues that tell them about your likes and dislikes. For example, let’s say that you are trading in a car so you can purchase a new car. The salesman comes out to inspect the car. He takes a good look at you, shakes your hand and smiles, and then begins to inspect the trade-in. The salesman opens your trunk and sees a golf bag; he quickly makes a mental note. He continues the inspection, noticing a book on fishing on the front seat, and a couple of jazz cd’s. He now has an arsenal of information.

The salesman can now make friendly conversation with topics he knows you are interested. He might say, “Are you off work for the rest of the day, it’s a beautiful day to play golf.” Or he could ask you about your favorite place to fish or about jazz. He can then lead you down a path of bonding, showing you just how much you two are alike. Most good sales people will also use a myriad of techniques such as copying your body language, your voice patterns etc.. This builds up an even stronger connection.

How does the salesman close the deal? By complimenting you, by telling you that you look great in the new car, and that the car seems to fit your personality. He might add that I can tell you are the type of person that doesn’t settle for less than the best. Now as you read this, you may think to yourself, I would never be affected by false flattery. I wish I could agree, but human behavior can be a very tricky thing. Many times we don’t trust ourselves to be able to say “no” in a sales or pressure situation. How many of you have walked a huge semi circle around boy scouts selling cookies because you do not want to have to deal with the conflict. You may have just bought a box last week, but a part of you still feels uncomfortable – and you go to another door, or walk out of your way to avoid the situation.

The University of North Carolina published an article in the “Journal of Experimental Social Psychology” and here is what they discovered. *“Men felt the greatest regard for an individual who flattered them unstintingly even if the comments were untrue.”

The book Interpersonal Attraction (Addison-Wesley) showed that positive remarks (compliments, flattery) about another persons traits, attitude or performance reliably generates liking in return as well as willing compliance with the wishes of the person offering praise.

The final caveat is this. The sales person has adroitly used his “liking skills” to create a rapport with you. He still however has one more card up his sleeve to prove his friendship and accentuate his likeability.

The salesman’s manager will play the role of villain allowing your salesman to go to battle on your behalf for the new car. After experiencing this tempest that the salesman has endured and his selfless loyalty to get you a great deal, you now feel you have no recourse than to comply.

As you can see liking is very powerful, and when we are put in certain situations it is very difficult for us to say no.

Motivational Coach Tony Robins gives us an example of this. When Tony was in his teens he very much wanted to be successful, and he began selling motivational tapes door to door. He quickly figured out a way to guarantee the sale of his tapes. He would approach the house and talk about his tapes. He would say the tapes are only $99 but they will change your life! He would then ask, don’t you think these tapes could change your life? The person would agree with him, but then add – “I would love to buy the tapes, but I don’t have a tape recorder”, Tony would nod and say, “I see, but you do see the value of the tapes, but the only thing stopping you from making the purchase is you don’t have a tape recorder”. The person would say yes, thinking that they had won. Tony would then pull out a tape recorder from under his jacket and say. “Well if that was the only thing holding you back, I should have mentioned that the tapes come with a free tape recorder.” Feeling there was no place to retreat, the person would give in and buy. Unfortunately, our behaviors will make us remain consistent with who we are (or are at the moment) even to our detriment. Tony later said that he felt horrible selling this way, as it took advantage of basic human behaviors.

I certainly do not condone using Liking unethically. I feel that liking can be used in such a way to help bring you closer together with a client or a prospect. Liking can be gentle probing questions that allow you to find a commonality between you and your client. This will allow you to speak openly and freely with the individual and allow you to establish a true “Liking” and relationship. No strings attached.

No one likes to be duped, and you do not want to create animosity between yourself and your client. Find something that you truly like about your client and compliment them on that. It may be their work ethic, their family, their educational background, their knowledge of sports; their passion for reading, anything that is truly congruent with the way you feel will help build a positive “liking” relationship.

Friends like to do business with friends that have their best interest at heart.

In the next issue we will discuss the law of reciprocity.

Copyright 2007 Stephen Knight

Read more!