The New Marketer - Viral Marketing Part 3 of 4

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I'm going to throw my iPod in my Blendtec blender.

None of us can deny the iPod is a beautiful piece of technology. In fact some of us may even have emotional attachments to the iPod. It contains our favorite music, and that music makes us feel a certain way.

So when Tom Dickson founder of Blendtec painfully put his own iPod into his blender and filmed it, the impact was pretty amazing. Not just because of his connection to his iPod, but because Tom Dickson will blend just about anything to prove that his blender is the top of the line of blenders. Tom actually puts on an amazing online show called "will it blend". So far, Tom has blended golf balls, marbles, cubic zirconia, credit cards, Barbie dolls, a video camera ... and well, you get the picture.

So, what is so amazing about the fact that this man blends things? The amazing thing is that millions of people watch his videos. People from all over the world send him things to blend. The formula is simple, it's easy, its visual and people want to see it. After watching him blend several golf balls, after saying "that's cool", you also have to say, that's one tough blender!

The premise is simple, and we automatically understand it. There is nothing calculated or complicated. Tom's blender videos have gone viral. They are viewed millions of times on Youtube and on Blendtec's website. They are on blogs and other websites all over the Internet. And people just like you and me send our friends emails saying, "You have got to watch this guy". Check out this link as he blend as Apple iPhone, nearly 3.5 million views so far. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg1ckCkm8YI

What is viral marketing? Viral marketing is an idea that is passed through the community much like a common cold. People simply pass along the virus and pretty soon its everywhere and everyone is talking about it. And once again it's usually the simplest ideas, the simplest concepts that work the best.

Visual ideas usually spread best. If the idea requires an effort by the audience, the chances of that idea going viral are small.

So if it's so simple, why don't more companies and major manufacturers incorporate viral marketing into their advertising? Many do try, but they are still bogged down by the old style of marketing. Marketers face a battle against a savvy ad-allergic audience. There is nothing worse than a big company trying to present a viral idea wrapped up in a slick production. Many companies have angered consumers by trying to trick the audience into believing that a skateboarder in a video just happened to be wearing a certain pair of shoes and just happened to fall in front of the camera with the logo bearing soles displayed at the perfect camera angle. Instead of building up goodwill, the consumer will turn on that company and give them a public flogging.
What are some of the key elements needed to create a true viral marketing campaign?

· There has to be enough of a back-story, it has to be something that the consumer is going to understand and be able to identify with.
· Curiosity is a major factor. There has to be a curiosity element involved. Not the same old cliché used over and over. Notice how when there is one good commercial on TV, suddenly all of the other ad agencies jump on it and begin producing commercials with the same format. You need to keep people guessing, where there preconceived ideas are challenged.
· Curiosity is very important, but it is only half of the formula. You need to deliver, there has to be an effective punch line. What good is a joke that gets you hooked and then doesn't deliver at the end? We all feel like we've wasted our time.
· The idea needs to be easy to deliver and to be passed to others. The idea needs to be tempting.
· The idea needs to come from a reliable source. This is why idea viruses are usually spread so quickly. Viruses are spread by word of mouth and friends emailing friends about their new find.
· Visual ideas appeal to the audience. If your audience has to invest a lot of time to comprehend the idea, then most likely your viral campaign will fail.

This is not to say that ALL viral marketing ideas that involve some interaction with the audience will fail. There have been some great viral ideas that have been extremely successful, and that is because of the masterful story telling done by the marketer.

Consider the Blair Witch Project, which costs $22,000 to make, yet grossed $248 million dollars. The marketing behind the Blair Witch Project was masterful. Hale and Monello (the creators of the Blair Witch Project) made us question whether this film was "truth or myth". Online, they started blogs and website forums that fed the audience bits and pieces of the Blair Witch mythology. Items such as police reports, and lost pages from the missing students diaries were posted. They also cut a deal with the Sci Fi channel to run a one-hour pseudo-documentary on the authenticity of the Blair Witch.

To keep the fervor alive until the film was released, they would release more and more of the story yet strategically hiding important details. Soon the media was buzzing about the film, and radio hosts and newspapers began discussing the authenticity of the Blair Witch.

A beautiful viral campaign was run by creating months of back-story, creating a community where one did not previously exist and creating an ongoing element of curiosity, which they painstakingly escalated until the films release.

All of the examples of viral marketing involve curiosity and the anticipation of a rewarding delivery at the end. You cannot force feed viral marketing on your audience. Make sure your ideas are simply, easy to understand, are familiar and that they deliver the goods at the end! A good showman always leaves his audience wanting more.

Copyright 2008 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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The New Rules of Email Marketing

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Could it be true in the world of cell phone, TV advertisements, blogs, forums, RSS feeds and pod casts that 90% of Internet users and 56% of all Americans still rely on email as their main way of communicating with other individuals. Americans send over 2.4 trillion emails a year. Still, if you use emailing as a marketing tool, you are fighting a battle that may do more harm to your business than good if you are not diligent in following the new rules of email marketing.

In this article, I discuss the ways email marketing has changed, as well as how important it is to engage your customer. You will learn how to actually help your customers benefit from your emails and avoid hammering them over the head to use your products or services.

Point: Over 50% of consumers define SPAM as, "I once gave my permission but I no longer wish to receive emails."

Did you know that the average ROI (Return On Investment) on most email campaign averages about 4%? Open rates have dipped to all time lows, and email recipients are all too ready to push the "report as spam" button. Why is this happening? Why this animosity towards email? Americans are inundated and frustrated with being "talked at" and "sold to". Today's consumer is exceptionally savvy when it comes to marketing. The average US consumer spends 14 hours of week watching TV and then another 14 hours a week surfing the web. For your emails to impact this audience, they have to be engaging and beneficial.

Engagement allows the consumer to take an active role; it's about a two-way dialogue. Engagement allows other customers to interact with other customers, and with you. It allows you to interact with you on their terms not your company's terms. One way we do this is by including discussion links in our emails. This link takes the customer to a forum where they can express their opinions whether it is about the company; the product or whatever is on their mind. This gives the customer an important voice, as well as makes them an integral part of the decision making process. This form of discussion teaches you how your customers want to be approached and how you can fulfill their needs by providing them with valuable resources.

Too many companies focus on building their list. They are consumed with the number of individuals they have on their email list. The reasoning is, the more customers I have on my list, the more people I can sell to. The reasoning seems to make sense, but more numbers does not covert into more sales. ISP Service providers do not like large amounts of emails to be sent out. Companies such as AOL block about 75% of the 2 billion emails it receives daily. Companies need to focus on building a reliable reputation and sending out quality emails. Make sure that you populate your list with individuals that have expressed interest in your products or services – even with this, make sure that they are added to your email list via an opt-in confirmation.

Use a reputable email service such as Constant Contact. Companies such as Constant Contact have many beneficial tools that enable you to monitor your email campaigns. These features include detail reporting on bounces, click-throughs, unsubscribe, links clicked etc. Another very positive opportunity is to watch you web logs for spikes to see when your site consistently has the most traffic. Begin to send out your emails on those days. Using a company like Constant Contact will enable you to automate your email experience and allow you to focus on excellent content.

Another great service that most email services provide is the ability to segment your lists into groups. If you sell multiple products, you do not want to send an email over and over to your entire email list when many of them may have already purchased your product. Segment your email lists into groups and then focus on sending them relevant content. Researches have found that by segmenting groups, there was a 7x increase in open rates and a 14x increase in click through rates. If you are not segmenting your list currently, you may want to start.

An email marketer's nightmare is to make it easy to unsubscribe from their mailing list, but this must be done. Make unsubscribing easy, it is much better than upsetting them and having them report your email as SPAM. Provide you customers with the tools they need to have a positive experience with your company. If they report your email as SPAM, you will most likely have lost the customer for good.

Creativity never hurts, unless your not. Many email companies allow you to send both text and HTML formatted emails. HTML formatting allows you to create some very powerful presentations, simply by including images, audio or video. Researchers have found that well designed emails can increase response rate by up to 75%. The main thing is to get you reader involved in the email and to make your email interactive and unique. Retailers such as Barnes and Nobles and Borders bookstores are perfect examples of advertising done right. Their emails include book reviews, introduction to new books as well as discount coupons. Their emails are informative, engaging, and they have a "call to action". They physically get you to click on a link and print a coupon to take to the store.

By applying some of the new tactics and guidelines above, your emails will not only be read, they will engage the customer in a beneficial way. I wish you great success in your emailing endeavors.

Copyright 2008 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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The New Marketer - Part 2 of 4

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Last Month we discussed the power of community and some of the ways that businesses can increase their profits and lower cost at the same time. One of the main topics was the power of online forums. We took our own advice, and we have modified our forums to allow members to assign areas of expertise under their avatar. We have also implemented a value system where individuals posting questions can assign different point values to the questions. When an expert answers questions, the individual can choose what he thinks is the best answer and award the points (or kudos on our site) to the expert with the best answer.

A since of pride is established in the community, and since the answers have a perceived value, experts on the forum will work a little harder to present the best answer. In this situation, everyone wins. Individuals on the forum that begin to be seen as experts may begin to be contacted by others for consulting work and paid expert advice.

This month we continue this discussion by focusing on the power of blogging. A blog is a website where entries are written in chronological order and may contain personal journals or diaries, images, news stories, commentaries, interviews or even product reviews. Blogs have found their way into every area of human interest.
Blogs allow you an immediate doorway to the public at large, and if what you write is engaging and topical, then you will most likely have a dedicated following.

How do you get started with a blog? Check out the following websites, they all offer great resources and can have you up and running in a matter of minutes.
http://www.typepad.com
http://www.wordpress.org
http://www.blogger.com

Once you have set up your blog, you will need to be vigilant and dedicate at least a couple days a week to your blog. If you sell a product or service, it is best to let the community get to know you. Blogs are generally written with a conversational tone to give a more personal experience to the reader. You will need to blog often, and you will need to discuss interesting topics. Even if your company sells tile flooring, you will need to make it interesting.

Following the thought of selling tile flooring, how could you write a blog that would be of interest to visitors to your blog? Simple. Let's say that the visitors to your blog are, current customers, new homeowners, homeowners remodeling, or wholesale buyers. One of the greatest items of value you can provide them is interesting "how-to" articles. These articles could be detailed descriptions of the preparation needed before adding the tile, what tools are needed, how to measure and cut tile, etc. The how to articles should contain numerous photographs and maybe even video demonstrating different techniques.

This type of information is extremely valuable to the consumer, and retail businesses that sell tile can even refer customers to your blog. Another great option to give the human touch to your blog is to include customer stories and photos showing them using your product. A nice series of before and after photos will certainly help.

Take time to speak with experts in your field. If you are a manufacture of tiles, then interview different people in your company all the way from the employees that create the tile down to the people that pick the colors and sell the product. Interview them all. They will all have something valuable that can be added to the blog. The important thing to remember is you are providing the community with a valuable resource that speaks volumes about your company. Take the time to interview other specialist in your field.

Ask individuals in your community if you can link to their websites and have them link back to your website. These individuals could be your suppliers or others that are in the same community but are not your competitors.

Use key words and phrases that are commonly used to describe your resources and commonly searched on in search engines. This will help target your blog in search engines when customers are searching on common phrases. Don't cheat and try to cover your blog with content plastered with key words and phrases, use them intelligently and focus on good content instead.

The more white papers, links, and articles you provide the more you will become recognized as a valued expert in the community. The important thing is that you create an open forum for discussion with your guest and handle negative comments with grace and intelligence. Remember your blog is there as a resource, but it is also a direct representation of your company. Focus on building a strong and positive community and growth will happen naturally.

In our next issue we will discuss viral marketing...where everyone catches your product and spreads it to others in the community.

Copyright 2008 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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The New Marketer - Part 1 of 4

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Gone are the days of simple marketing where you could depend on a radio spot or a television commercial to sell your product or service. Our filtering system has become amazingly adept at maneuvering through the massive amount of information overload advertisers thrust upon us daily. We have become desensitized through repetition and have changed the ways that we make our purchases.

Today, more and more we are listening to other consumers before we make a purchase. In a recent survey of online shoppers, 76% relied on customer reviews, and over 50% regarded the reviews as critical to their purchase. Customers are telling other customers what products to buy.

Recently I needed to purchase a GPS device for my car. I looked through the print ads that arrived with the Sunday paper, and realized quickly how little information was really provided. Many of the devices had the same features and cost about the same. I decided to go online and read customer reviews about the various GPS products.

Reading dozens of customer reviews helped me quickly make a decision. Simple comments such as, "The plastic attachment that holds the GPS unit to the windshield cracked after only 3 weeks of use." "The map software that comes with the GPS is outdated and it costs $80 to get current maps." "Satellite connection may take as long as 1.5 minutes." Some customers gave extremely detailed description as to how the GPS device performed as they traversed through multiple cities and rural areas. The information that I gained from the customer reviews was invaluable. I was quickly able to make an informed decision, and as a result I feel I received the best product for the best price.

Customer's reviews are only the tip of the iceberg; we have seen them on websites for years in the form of 'testimonials'. There is however a big difference between a testimonial, and an active community of customers discussing a particular product. Building an interactive forum where customers can discuss a product, gives validity to the product. People tend to buy from people that are like them.

So, how do we apply some of the new marketing techniques to sell our products and services? How do we get the attention of consumers that are already fighting advertising sensory overload? The answer is simple; we need to get involved, and to make our advertising an experience that is beneficial to the consumer.

To be successful in business today there is a myriad of responsibilities that we need to address to facilitate the sales of our product or service to the consumer. The basics are, an easily navigated website with good content, an informative blog, a forum, press release service, newsletters, webinars and customers that will evangelize for you.

I realize that this may seem overwhelming at first, but once in place, with the proper planning you will develop a community that will be a powerful voice for your product. Thanks to open source software, 99% of the tools that you need are free. Let's begin our discussion with the use of forums.

Well-designed organized forums can be extremely beneficial towards the success of your business. Forums can be a way for you to not only communicate with new customers or prospects, but they enable you to engage in long-term relationships with your current customers. Forums can be used to collect extremely valuable information; your current customers can even help you invent new products and services. Current customers can also help you company be more productive and profitable. This is called 'crowd sourcing' where the business turns over tasks traditionally performed by the employees to the Internet multitude. Why does this work? Individuals on forums many times create an online persona and part of that persona is to play the role of an expert. People want to be known as gurus, they want to be seen as knowledgeable in their field.

People generally like working with other like-minded people and helping them solve problems. Think about it, every time you pick up the phone, or have to send an email to a potential client or to a current customer, you are spending money. Phone support can cost a business $25 - $35.00 and hour while emails generally cost about $4.00 a piece. The cost is of course the time invested in each of these. This is another reason why you should invest the time to build a strong cohesive community around your business.

Once you create a community of customers discussing and supporting your products, you will need to begin rewarding those members that go out of the way to help others. Special recognition on the forum in the form of a special symbol or you can even award them a point value for each question they answer. You can also make your forum more interactive by giving the ability to rate the experts. Ask visitors to your site to the quality of help that they receive. Forum volunteers that consistently perform well should be rewarded publicly. These elite members of your community can help you grow your business by evangelizing on other forums and spreading the word about your products and services.

Setting up a forum is very simple. Check with your web-hosting provider, most hosting companies include free forum software with their services. Be sure to create an announcement section followed by separate categories of all of your products and services that you offer. In our next series we will discuss blogging as a powerful marketing tool. We will also discuss creating profitable businesses with little overhead but create great financial rewards.

Copyright 2008 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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Identity Theft Scam Series - Jury Duty

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The jury duty scam has been around for quite a while, but it is still very successful. Why? The scam is amazingly simple, and it plays on the fear that you have broken the law and that you could be arrested.

So, what is this scam, and how do you protect yourself?

The scam starts with a phone call - a person pretending to be a court official calls and says that a warrant has been issued for your arrest since you did not show up for jury duty. He informs you that he is the jury coordinator and that skipping out on your civic duty is not taken lightly.

The caller knows you will protest that you never received the jury summons, that there is some kind of mistake. This falls right into the scammers plan. The scammer will say that they need to check their records to stop the warrant from being processed. They will ask for your social security number, and your date of birth. Once they have this information - the caller will act as if verifying the information and apologize for the administrative mistake. Guess what, your identity has just been stolen.

Be weary of ever giving out information over the phone when you are called by anyone that says they are a government official, (IRS, state tax administrator, jury coordinator) stay calm and ask for their number so you can call them back. Immediately verify the information via, online directory or your telephone book. You make the call, you check to see if the details being presented to you are valid.

The scam works well, it is simple, and it works well because people want to prove their innocence. The thieves know this and use this to their advantage.

In Kindness
Stephen Knight
http://www.fmwebschool.com

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Social Proof, Do You Follow the Crowd?

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People tend to rely upon others as a cue to how they should act. Following the leads of others is the norm especially in social settings. One fundamental way that we decide what to do in a situation is we look to see what others are doing. But, how is this applied to business?

Does groupthink really play a role in our decision-making? In a door-to-door experiment in Columbia South Carolina, researchers went door-to-door soliciting donations for a charity campaign. They first displayed a long list of people’s names that had also made donations. The long list of names had little effect on whether the homeowner would donate. Next, they approached homeowners with long lists of their “neighbors” that had donated to the charity. The researchers found that the longer the list the more likely those solicited would donate as well.

Why would who was on the list, and the size of the list matter? The homeowners were simply following the law of Social Proof, they saw that a great number of their fellow neighbors had responded a certain way, and that they too should behave in the same manner. The fact that so many of their neighbors were on the list simply reinforced their decision that this was the right thing to do.

Social Proof is more effective when it traverses a horizontal plane of individuals with similar circumstances. If I wanted to sell a software program to colleges, I certainly would not use a series of testimonials from “grade school” teachers that had used the software. I would focus on getting testimonials from college professors and universities.

Social Proof can be extremely powerful, but it can backfire on you as well if not used properly. Social proof attempts to make use of peer pressure to drive human behavior. If the action that is taking place is a negative action – and is very widespread, you may not only bring attention to the action, but also push people towards adopting the negative action. It simply validates the idea that if ‘all of these people are doing it, why shouldn’t I?”

Effective use of Social Proof can produce powerful results if applied properly to your marketing. Remember not to market “down” to your customers. Approach them on the same level. A great example used to be the “Doctor commercials”. An actor, that we know is not a doctor, begins to tell us that his patients use this drug and that millions are experiencing relief from their ailment from this drug. This is selling down to the consumer, trying to use a voice of authority, which we all know is an actor. Then the drug companies got smart, they began using everyday people in every day settings with an emotional voice over. They began by having a person (or several people) talk about their lives and how they were improved by taking this certain medication. A subtle voice over would then be added “Millions are finding relief by taking (insert name of medicine here). Some of the commercials were so good, you begin to ask yourself, do I need this medication?

Another example of using social proof in advertising is male pattern hair loss. We are led to believe that male baldness is wrong, “if” we don’t do something about it.

The build up of the commercial seems to say -

Consider the egregious mistake of hair loss! How dare you! Suddenly you are unpopular, the masses stare at you, you look older and women no longer find you attractive. Millions of men are doing something about this plight by getting hair implants! Gain a new lease on life.

The commercial begins showing a gentleman going bald, getting out of the shower and looking at himself in the mirror, burning his head at the pool, being rejected by women.

But after the hair transplant

The commercial cuts away to a guy swimming and coming out of the water shaking a full head of hair. He’s suddenly having dinner with a beautiful woman. He’s become an out doors man and suddenly he is full of life and vitality. Who knows he may even try out for the part of James Bond in the next movie.

Social Proof says, “hey our peer group is doing this, they are setting the standards, I need to act this way to fit in, to feel like I am a part of the norm”. I do not feel like the above commercial is ethical as it is extremely manipulative, but it is using some of the main sales strategies for getting consumers to take action. Social Proof, addressing a fear or a pain, making that pain or fear real, and then showing you how to alleviate that fear or pain and become a part of the norm again. Not just a part of the norm, but an elite part of the norm by taking action.

I encourage you to study human interaction in groups - and though many times they are overwhelmingly annoying watch a few commercials and try to pick out the basic elements that they use to get you to take action or in other words, spend money.


Copyright 2007 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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Business Etiquette for Consultants

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At one time, the art of communication may have been considered simple common sense. But in the ever-shrinking world, now, more than ever we need to be sensitive to the vast array of behaviors existing in other cultures. Etiquette is a learned skill and one that must be constantly practiced. This will allow you to focus more on the deal you are negotiating or more importantly on what your client or friend is saying without worrying if you are going to do or say something inappropriate.

Simply put, being well versed in proper etiquette will give you a competitive edge in business and earn the respect of others you may meet through the course of your life. Many of our parents gave us “Etiquette Basics” or sets of rules as to what was socially acceptable. In the world of business, we need to expand beyond the basics and learn how to engage others approvingly in the workplace, social gatherings, meetings and in other countries.

The most successful people are prepared people. If you are meeting with a company that interests you as being a potential client, be prepared. Go online, and research the company. What types of things are you looking for? Articles about the company, any awards they may have won, what local community groups they support or charities, look at the company website – many times companies publish their newsletters or information about their company. Take the time to learn about their company and whom they do business with.

Don’t just prepare mentally make sure you dress appropriately. Call ahead and speak to the receptionist – be sure to ask for her name. The receptionist is actually a very valuable person as she conveys information to everyone within the company. Let the receptionist know who you are, and with whom you will be meeting. Ask about proper attire, as well as proper spelling of individuals’ names. Be sure to thank her for her time and be sure to use her name when doing so.

When dressing, make sure you dress for the occasion. You need to make sure that your clothes are not over powering. You want to dress appropriately, but you want to make sure that your personality and intelligence are what they notice, not your outfit. How important is what we wear? Extremely important, whether we like to admit it or not, we quickly pass judgment on people even before they say a word. We do this within seconds of meeting an individual. Unfortunately, many times it is that perception of what is or isn’t that makes the decision for us. For example, which diamond ring do you think we would perceive having the greatest value, a diamond in a box from a chain superstore, or one from Tiffanys? It could be the exact same ring, but it is simply the box, “the dressing” where we quickly perceive the value of what’s inside.

I like you. Yes, I really like you. Aren’t those fun words to hear? Well people like to do business with people that they like – and with people with whom they feel they are alike. I’ve written numerous articles on matching and mirroring and pacing and leading. If you are meeting someone for the first time, subtly and gently, match and mirror their movements, their breathing, the pace, pitch and tone of their voice. Get them to talk about themselves by asking questions that cannot be simply answered by yes and no. Ask questions that begin with what do you do, or what do you enjoy, or tell me about this or that. Make sure when conversing that you are talking with the person, not “at” the person. We all like to talk about topics that interest us, but it is important that we don’t monopolize the conversation with stories about our interests.

A few other important points when conversing or making small talk.

· Repeat the persons name 2-3 times right away in the conversation
· Judge the persons mood, does the individual want to engage in small talk, or are they ready to jump into business. In some cultures, it is rude to begin discussion of business immediately. This tends to be an American way of doing business. Be sure to study as to what is customary in other cultures.
· Ask for a business card – out of respect hold it, study it for a moment, and then put it away. Once away from your guest, you can write a few quick notes on the back of the card. In Japan, business cards are very important, do not take a card and deface the card by writing notes on it.
· Ask good questions
· Respond with affirmative body language – nod, smile, and maintain interested eye contact – this does not mean that you should stare into their eyes – hold eye contact and look away as they look away – once again, in some cultures it is rude to keep eye contact
· Don’t interrupt or finish peoples sentences for them
· If you are sitting, stand whenever you shake someone’s hand

Social events are a wonderful place to practice meeting people. One of the most difficult things for many people is to break through their cocoon of safety. These people are usually pretty easy to pick out. They are standing by themselves (usually near the bar or food table) clutching their drink with a death grip.

Take those first tentative steps, and build up your meeting and greeting muscle! The more you work your meeting and greeting muscle the stronger it will get, and the easier it will be to meet people. One way to prepare for social events is to expand your education. I am not talking about traditional schooling here, I am talking about diversity. Take some time to read and learn about other areas of interest – there are some great magazines available that provide a plethora of interesting topics. Books such as “The Know It All” by Al Jacobs and “The Intellectual Devotion” by Kidder and Oppenheim are great sources for discussion. This way, you always have an interesting topic to discuss, and you may even learn something. One last thing to remember is in a group situation avoid sex, politics, health problems, religion, money problems and tasteless jokes.

One of the most difficult things for people to do is to listen. Many times we are so excited that someone is interested in us that we try to wrap up a lifetime of experiences in 30 minutes. Practice listening. This involves listening and focusing on what the words mean to the individual speaking. Most of us are so busy trying to come up with what we will say in response, that we are not able to apply the appropriate “listening elements” to the conversation.

Let’s move into the dining area.

Sitting at a proper table with a dignified guest can be a bit overwhelming. There are numerous utensils to deal with - multiple plates and side dishes and several glasses and cups. There are a few simple rules which can help you not only survive this meal, but enjoy the meal.

· Work out to in (meaning you work from the furthest utensil inward)
· Utensils with four letters go to the left (‘left’ hand four letters, ‘fork’ four letters)
· Utensils with five letters go to the right (‘right’ hand five letters, ‘knife’ and ‘spoon’ five letters) The knife blade always faces the plate
· The bread plate will be to your left – a quick hint, take a small serving of butter from the main butter dish and place that on your bread plate. Butter and eat your bread in small pieces, don’t pick up the entire piece and start chowing down.
· Your drink should go to the right side of your plate
· The small plate at the top of your plate is your dessert plate. The server should remove your dinner plate and move the dessert plate to take its place. At this time you would move your fork and spoon down to the appropriate sides of your plate. (Unless your server does this for you)
· When served desert, your server will most likely offer coffee. If you deny coffee do not turn your cup over to show that you do not want coffee. Simply tell the server and they should remove the cup. When stirring do not clink the side of the cup, and do not pour it into the saucer.
· Your napkin should rest in your lap
· If you leave to go to the washroom, place the napkin in your seat so the server knows you are returning
· When you are finished eating the napkin should be folded and placed to the left of your plate.
· If you drop a utensil, leave it on the floor and bring it to the servers attention, they will bring you a new one
· When someone asks for the salt, pass the pepper as well
· Men don’t place your briefcase or cell phone on the table, likewise, women do not place your purses or cell phone on the table
· Avoid foods that are messy or hard to manage
· When you are finished eating, place your utensils side by side on your plate (with the knife blade turned in towards the center of the plate) at a 10:20 angle.
· When a server pours a glass of wine for you to sample do not smell the cork – many wines use synthetic corks now. What you want to do is “smell’ the wine. Gently swirl the wine in the glass, and inhale the aroma, a good wine will have a nice aroma, generally fruity, flowery or spicy. If the wine smells musty or like wet paper, politely refuse the bottle and ask for another.
· If you are not sure what to order, point at a price that you are comfortable spending, and tell the server you would like something like this. The server should bring you their “select” wine for that dollar amount.
· Turn your cellphone to silent or vibrate at the table

Many of us send dozens of email messages every day. Emails are a powerful and unique way to keep in touch with friends, clients and potential clients. Since emails can be extremely powerful, it is important that we understand the responsibility we embrace when we press the ‘send’ key.

Here are some great guidelines and ideas as to how you can provide a positive email experience.

· Include a descriptive subject line. Don’t waste people’s precious time trying to figure out an ambiguous subject line. Many people also sort or file emails, and having a descriptive subject line is very helpful when it comes to organization.
· Use email as an introductory tool. If you have two clients who have the same interest, it may be beneficial to introduce them via email. You can send an introductory email from yourself to both parties, and they can pursue the opportunity if they desire.
· All of our inboxes are overflowing with SPAM and Jokes, think twice before you hit the send button
· Respond in likeness, if the person you are communicating with is very formal and uses “Dear” you should address them with “Dear”. If they address you as Hi, Hello, or Greetings, you should respond likewise. Not until the person has relaxed their method of greeting should you relax yours.
· Don’t use all caps
· Keep your emails simple
· If it is private, use a phone. Too many people have learned from this mistake!
· Be sure to spell check
· Use BCC, never assume that others wont mind having their emails passed out
· If you send an email and do not hear back in a reasonable amount of time, email again. If still, you have not heard anything, call them. Many harmless emails get filtered out as SPAM.
· Let the person know that you have received their email. If you don’t know the answer to a question, let them know that you will research it and get back to them.
· Ask before sending attachments – many companies will strip attachments or disapprove of their employees opening emails with attachments.
· Out of office auto-responders can be wonderful but they can also be downright annoying if you belong to email lists or forums. Imagine every time someone fires an email off to the email list and your auto responder fires back that you are away on vacation or maternity leave!
· As pointed out earlier, always make sure you have the correct spelling of the recipient’s name. Call and find out how their name is spelled before you email them.

If you have guests from another country, or you will be visiting another country on business, take some time to learn about the culture. Visit Wikipedia for a rich resource of other cultures. The better prepared you are the more efficient and successful you will be. Things that you may want to learn before traveling abroad or hosting a guest from another country are:

· What kind of greeting is expected
· Very important, is “who do you greet first”?
· Introduce from higher to lower. You would introduce the President of a company to a client, not the other way around.
· What kind of attire is appropriate for casual wear and business wear
· Watch your gestures! What may be considered polite in the US may be rude or offensive in other cultures
· Do they exchange gifts?
· Americans like to quickly discuss business, many times other cultures like to spend quality time getting to know you before business is even addressed. Don’t seem impatient, and follow their lead.
· If you lose a bid, or the client decides not to move forward with you, send them a handwritten note of appreciation. Let them know that you are available and would be honored to be considered if things do not work out with the other company.
· Think before you speak. Be sure to ask intelligent questions. American humor and slang may be totally misunderstood in other cultures.
· Learn as much as possible about the culture
· Learn as much as you can about the company you will be visiting – find as much information on the web as you can.

What do I do with all of this information?

There are numerous Contact Management Systems available, or you can build a simple solution yourself using a database program such as FileMaker Pro. Beyond the obvious, make sure you include birthdays, children’s names and hobbies or special interest the individual may have.

Communication is extremely important, it allows us to have quality relationships with other individuals. By learning proper etiquette, you can communicate your desire to take that extra step, raising the relationship to an even higher level. Proper etiquette is timeless and will help you succeed in life and business.



Copyright 2007 FMWebschool Inc. http://www.fmwebschool.com Written by Stephen Knight

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Preparing for my next Newsletter

Every month I release Newsletter read by over 5000 individuals. I spend about 40 hours reading and researching. You can subscribe to the newsletter here.

This issue will cover articles on:

* Business Etiquette
* Organization & My new Desktop Organizer Templates
* Social Proof based on the book by Dr. Cialdini
* Wireless Network Safety
* Apple Script and Command Line Scripting with FileMaker
* Playing Quicktime movies with FileMaker

What am I reading this month?

Business Class by Jacqueline Whitmore
Speak Like a CEO by Suzanne Bates
Mad Scam by George Parker
East of Eden by John Steinbeck

I will post 3 new articles this week - I hope that you enjoy them. Make sure you sign up for my newsletter as well!

In Kindness
Stephen Knight

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When to Say No!

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When to say No! What are some of the top signs that you should not accept a client?

When I was researching this article I decided to post a question to a couple email lists to see what the response would be. It wasn’t long before a spirited debate ensued. Over the next couple of days I received phone calls and over 50 emails. Some individuals had certain guidelines or rules that their potential clients must meet, and if not…that meant “End of Discussion”

I received emails from every level of FileMaker consultant. Beginners who were struggling with saying “NO” because they needed the work and the experience. Experienced developers that had been around the block a few times and approached new contacts with a weary cynicism. And a small group that said that they “never” said no to a client, that they lived by the rule (there’s that word again) “the customer is always right”.

I received emails from fixers who said a “No” can always be turned into a “Yes” situation. Lastly I received 2 emails that brought me to a stop…as I read through the experiences of these two individuals I was greatly saddened at what they had gone through. Because sadly, it is the developers that are the most giving that seem to be taken advantage of the most.

Let’s examine some of the psychological rules that were played out in the emails I received.

Rules: All of us live by rules. Many of the rules that we impose on our lives are created when we are children. What are some rules? Let’s say that one of the rules that I live by is that you never argue at the dinner table. If you are going to talk at the table, it should be a non-confrontational topic that everyone can enjoy. Let’s say that I am married, and my wife’s family loves to talk at the table, the louder the better. Their rule is that to be part of the family you need to open up and engage in the topics being discussed at the table. Who is right?
What if I had the rule that in order to be loved or to feel loved, that when my wife got home from work that we greeted each other with a hug, and if I didn’t immediately get that hug, I didn’t feel loved. What if she felt that relaxing on the couch and talking and sharing each others day was how she felt loved. Can you see a conflict?

Can you see how we can each create rules…and guess what, no one sits down with their spouse or their best friend and says, “hey, I’ve created these rules about how I live my life, and in order for us to get along, you must respect my rules and not violate my rules…because…friends don’t violate rules”.

Rules can affect the way that we communicate and interact with our clients. Our clients have rules, but they are multi faceted. The company has its own rules…some written, some just understood by the employees. Also, the potential client, the individual may have his/her own set of rules. It is important to pick up the subtle clues that our clients give us that enable us to bring their “rules” to light. Most of the time when we have a clash or a misunderstanding with a client, it is because we are breaking one of their rules. It may sound like something small, but “rules’ play a big part of our life and can affect the way we interact with our clients and potential clients. Remember, it can be as little as the way you look at someone that can fire off one of their rules.

In Psychology this is called Commitment and Consistency. Here is how it generally works.

A new client asks you to perform a small task for them that you know you will not be monetarily compensated for. You agree, even though in the back of your mind you feel slightly uncomfortable and a little put out. Your client praises you and tells you they are going to let everyone know how wonderful and kind you are. As time goes on, your customer asks you to do this or that for free, and continues to praise you, not only to you personally but publicly to others in the office.

Guess what, you have now created yet another “identity”. Believe it or not, we create them for every client. This new identity is one that is wonderful and kind and will do things for free! So, guess what. You tell yourself “Yes, I am wonderful and kind and wonderful and kind people sometimes give some free time of themselves…and besides I can stop whenever I want”.

Here is where the Psychology kicks in. People will do anything, to avoid being inconsistent with their behavior, with their belief of “who” they are. Why do you act one way on the phone with one friend, and totally different when speaking to another? Which one is actually you? What do I mean by that? People try to avoid the look of inconsistency, and the more public the stand, the more reluctant we will be to change it.

What do we call someone who suddenly becomes inconsistent with who they are, or whom we think they are? We call them wishy-washy, un-trust worthy…deceitful. Powerful words that have powerful meanings. Be careful when you feel someone deliberately having you take small steps towards something you don’t want to do. Listen to your gut feeling, and tell the individual that you are not comfortable with the situation.

OK, back on track. Below is a laundry list of some of the reasons why consultants say NO to potential clients.

1. They offer you goods in exchange for your services
2. Our business is absolutely unique, you should really be paying me to learn it
3. When I feel devalued or when they talk about my product or service in a dismissive way
4. Client sees no reason to discuss the scope of the project
5. You don’t have time
6. Your client is on an unrealistic deadline and is totally inflexible
7. The complexity of the project is beyond your abilities
8. Client presents too much legal-eez, putting a virtual legal strangle-hold around your neck, or they want you to sign a Non Compete that could exclude you from work in the future.
9. They do not understand nor do they want to understand the development process & limitations of certain technologies. Ex. They want to use Instant Web Publishing because of the advantages it provides, but are unwilling to accept some of the limitations that come with it.
10. No access to the individuals that will actually be using the solution. Inability to understand the business logic involved in creating the solution.
11. They currently have a solution that was developed many years ago that has been band-aided together by numerous developers. The customer does not want the underlying issue solved, just another Band-Aid.
12. The customer insists on doing what they think is the “easy” part, and then asks you to come in and do everything else
13. They use pressure tactics
14. Cost is the only issue they are concerned with
15. They say, “If you will do this job below your normal rate, we will have several more projects for you after this is done”.
16. They say that they have worked with several FileMaker developers on this project and have not been satisfied yet.
17. Client has a project that I will not enjoy, one that I clearly cannot see myself getting involved in
18. Does not want to complete a “Needs Analysis Form”
19. Does not want to sign a contract or an agreement.
20. They say “I haven’t set a budget, let me know what you come up with”.
21. They say “Why is this so much? Another developer quoted me “X” dollars for the same project. How come you are so much more”?
22. They say, “I haven’t really thought about what we need, we can just sort that out as we go along”.
23. They say, “Can you get me a good deal on FileMaker licenses”?
24. They say, “We have ALL of the specifications already worked out”.
25. They do not treat you as an equal, you are treated as an employee, and if they like your work they will pay you.

So, what is one of the biggest complaints that we have? Equality. When a company hires you, it is important to immediately establish a level of equality with your client. Consultants are described as a Free-Lancer, a hired gun, a coder, or “that’s my computer guy/girl. All of these words have a feeling of possession or ownership none of which sound very endearing. It is important that your client/potential client understands that they are not your boss. You have been contracted to provide a service.

I am not saying to immediately tell your client that you are his/her equal, and expect to be treated that way. I am just saying that you need to tactfully help them understand that you are an expert in your field, that you were hired on a contract basis to offer a service.

Isn’t my client being a jerk trying to prove his/her domination over me? This can actually be several things. One of the simplest ways to explain things is that your client might not have any references guiding them as to how they should act. They have never hired a consultant, and they have no idea as to what is expected of them. This is a good time to have an agreement/contract and to maybe do some subtle educating. The client might not be a jerk, just un-educated as far as hiring and working with a consultant.

Your client may feel intimidated. Many times a contractor is hired to come in and fix, or add features to a solution that they are technically not qualified to do. Your client may feel that his/her job is at stake, and they will immediately try to assume a dominant role. Once again, it is up to you to assure your client that you are only there to help with the project. Human beings fear loss more than anything else. In the world of advertising, copywriters know that they can get you to act by changing two words. Buy now and save $100.00 or If you don’t buy now you will lose $100.00. Saving is not as important as losing; no one wants to lose…unless it’s weight.

How important is trust? Another big topic that came up a bunch was trust. Some individuals felt that there had to be a great deal of trust with their clients before they would move into any type of agreement. This is actually very important. Trust many times is not what an individual says, but how our subconscious mind interprets unconscious incongruence in the other person’s physiology.

What does that mean? There are three forms of communication, Words, Voice Quality and Physiology. Words represent 7% of what actually influences human behavior. Voice Qualities (tonality, tone, volume, inflection) represent 38% and Physiology, (the way you user your body, breathing, facial expressions, gestures) represents 55%. Congruency is when our physiology and our voice qualities blend harmoniously. Our unconscious mind is an expert at understanding congruency; it is able to pick up the hidden muscle twitches, subtle shifts in tonality…this is generally when you get an uneasy feeling in your stomach, implying that something just isn’t right. This is one of the first steps towards the “trust-buster”.

Trust goes beyond the physicality of the other person. Trusting involves listening, and it involves caring. Your client trusts you to walk into their office and create something that does not currently exist. And, they are going to pay you a pretty good rate to do so. Building trust is being able to understand their fears and apprehension and to be able to address and extinguish those fears in a tactful caring manner. Your client wants to think that you truly have his/her best interest in mind.

They Constantly change their minds. Repeatedly changing one’s mind was one of the biggest gripes of consultants. I received questions like, “Who pays for this”? “How many times should I let them change the solution”? “How am I supposed to finish a product when they keep changing the specs?

I hate to say it, but it is every client’s right to change their mind, and for you to not throw a fit when they do so. It is very rare that a client and a consultant sit down, and devise a solution that does not needs some tweaking. It is extremely impractical to imagine the total workflow of a solution from start to finish without expecting numerous changes.

So, what do I do? First, I would add a little breathing room into my estimate for creating the solution. I also encourage my clients to request changes and to get involved. This way they can see that the solution is evolving and are more likely to be happy with the end result. I consider all of the changes they request, and I discuss them with my client. If a request is too large, I let them know that this will push them over their budget, and that if they still want the additional features added, we can do so after the completion of the project. I also recommend creating “Change Orders”. Change orders can be a saving grace. Each time your client wants to make a change, they fill out a form stating what they want changed, and then you both sign off on it. This is also a great way to stop your client from coming back later and saying “I never asked you to do that.”

Contracts, Agreements, Deposits Once again, this was a heavily debated topic. After much thought on the subject, and after speaking with my personal attorney, we felt it best to seek out a professional in the field to help with any business / legal consultation or documentation.

He did specify the importance of having a contract since as a consultant; most of us are dealing with intangibles. Some Clients may refuse to sign a contract, if this occurs, you may want to research to see if they have had problems with previous consultants, or if the project you are about to undertake is a hand-me-down from a previous consulting company. Try to find out the “why” behind the hesitation to sign the contract.

Bartering, Creative Financing, Joint Venture Schemes: This topic was filled with warnings. One individual agreed to work for another company, and in exchange, they would give him a computer and free software. However, once he had worked off the allotted time required to pay for the computer and software…the company said that the funds needed to purchase the computer and software were not immediately available. Another developer explained it this way. “One big problem is a clients perceived value of your time when bartering. When the client equates your value with their wholesale cost for goods/services then the relationship can become difficult.”

Some consultants said that they had found a great balance, and felt that both they and their clients were equally rewarded. This however was certainly not the majority opinion.

Creative Financing and Joint Venture schemes seemed to be lumped closely together. One continual scenario is the client has this great idea, a solution that will certainly be a huge hit. They have the idea; you have the skills, let’s make lots of money. The next step is they ask you to develop this solution for them, and that they will give you a hefty percentage for all of the sales that will certainly come in.

Be careful here, do some research. Make sure, if you decide to do this, that your client has done a lot of research. Make sure that there is actually an interested market. Make sure that there are actually enough individuals not only interested in this market, but are willing to open their wallets. Look at the competition. Is the market already so saturated that even though it is a great idea, several hundred other developers thought this was a great idea as well? Also, make sure that your client’s perceived value is actually a realistic representation of what the market will allow. What marketing experience does you client have? Has he worked this into the cost of production?

Sometimes collaborative efforts can work out and have great results. But be careful, you do not want to have your reputation marred by someone that doesn’t share the same work ethics and values as you.

Don’t discriminate too quickly: Finally a quick story that shows how quickly our learned filters of the way we interpret the world can be fooled! Every one of us looks at the world through filters. Everything we look at has a memory and a feeling attached to it. These filters allow us to live our day-to-day lives without having to concentrate on everything we see. These filters are learned memories and feelings that allow us to make thousands of unconscious decisions every day. Just the act of driving every day is a great example of this. Our perceptions of the world, our prejudices are all learned filters; we were not born with them. One of the stories that I thought that I would close with is a great example of how quickly our mind decides what to believe.

One thing we all need to watch is our prejudices. One developer wrote ”I had a client whose emails were too terse, poorly worded, improperly punctuated, etc. In addition, she seemed overly concerned about my rates. After meeting her in person I found a very wonderful older woman who is retiring and is on a budget, she is not very computer savvy, she uses a Mac with an OS about 7 years old. In this case all the little red flags turned out to be false. I'm not making tons of money, but I am helping a good person do good things.”

Had I had the time, I could have easily written a book from the 100+ pages of emails that I received. Everyone had great ideas, many techniques for working with clients were unique from client to client. The top themes running throughout all of the emails was, communicate with your client, establish equality, establish trust, and mostly, be honest with your client.

*** This year I will be teaching a class at Devcon that teaches individuals how to communicate with their clients. The class will be taught from my new book, “The Art of the Topple”. The class will cover the Psychology behind Influence and Persuasion. With the techniques I teach in this class, you will be able to establish a rapport with your clients within a few seconds. I will teach Psychological triggers, Body Language and Psychological Modalities. The second part of the class will involve writing Advertising copy, as well as successful secrets for web marketing. If you are attending Devcon, and would be interested in taking this class, please email me at: stephen@fmwebschool.com ***


Copyright 2006 Stephen Knight

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Our Iceberg is Melting Book Review

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A few years ago Kenneth Blanchard released a book entitled “Who Moved My Cheese”. The book was a great fable about two mice. One thought his piece of cheese would last forever, and never bothered to go and explore and look for new cheese. The other mouse began exploring looking for new cheese, creating new opportunities.

Now comes a new fable, one written by John Kotter. In this book, one of the penguins observes that the iceberg that his colony is living on is melting. He must use a vast array of tools to convince the town elders, the critics, the masses and doomsayers that the iceberg is melting and that new options need to be explored. All of the characters in the book, Fred, Ann, Nono, Louis, Jordan, are all based on real life characters. Many of them you will quickly recognize from your workplace and day-to-day life.

Knowing that he will need the support of everyone in the community, he gathers together a select group of penguins each with different problem solving skills. Kotter infuses his 8 principles of problem solving in this story. Faced with certain tragedy Kotter shows how the penguins, identified the problem, created urgency, developed a tem-building structure and stepped outside the box.

The book is very short, and takes only a couple hours to read, you will feel energized after reading the book and ready to make some changes in your life and the way that you communicate with others.

A quick summary of Dr. Kotter’s Eight Steps for Change

1. Set the stage – create a sense of urgency
2. Pull together the guiding group – make sure there is a powerful diverse group guiding the change.
3. Decide what to do – develop the change vision and strategy, clarify how the future will be different from the past
4. Make it happen – communicate for understanding, make sure that as many as possible understand and accept the vision and strategy
5. Empower others to act – remove as many barriers as possible
6. Create short term wins – create some visible unambiguous successes as soon as possible
7. Don’t let up – press harder and faster after the first success
8. Make it stick – create a new culture – hold on to the new way of behaving

I hope that you enjoy this great book as much as I did.

Copyright 2007 Stephen Knight

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Commitments & Consistency

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“It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”
Leonardo Da Vinci

People fulfill written, public, and voluntary commitments.

If you need something done, there are a couple of ways to make people feel committed.

One way is good turns. Do something nice for the person and they feel committed to return the favor or nicety. This works some of the time, not all of the time.

An even more powerful persuasive technique is to get them to make the commitment public. When someone makes a public commitment, they are much more likely to follow through. This technique is extremely powerful as individuals, once they have made a public commitment, like to remain consistent with who they are.

Here’s a "Jim" of a story

Here’s an example. Let’s say that you have an employee, and his name is Jim. Jim is responsible for turning in the daily sales reports. Every day Jim is late turning in the reports.

You have spoken to Jim on numerous occasions telling him that the reports must be turned in on time. Nothing seems to work. You are now frustrated, you could fire Jim, but he has some great qualities that could prove to be an extremely valuable asset to the company. Jim has numerous clients that love him, and he values his relationships with these clients.

How can we help Jim? Unknowingly we have done a disservice to Jim as well as ourselves. Jim is just acting consistently with who we said that he is. “Jim is always late with the reports”. You have labeled Jim, the other employees have labeled Jim, and now he is behaving consistent with his label because that is what is expected of him.

It sounds crazy, but it is true, we have to be careful what we believe and what labels we allow others to give us.

How do you fix the problem?

You have Jim commit publicly to getting the reports done on time, but you also commend him for something that he values. This needs to be done subtly and caringly, or you will create animosity and Jim will react in hurt and anger instead.

You simply call a staff meeting. You ask everyone for reports on what they are doing, what they are working on etc… When you get to Jim, you ask him about the sales reports. You come up with a definitive time that the sales reports need to be turned in. You ask the others to help Jim and to make sure that they have their information to him in plenty of time for him to reach this goal. You ask Jim, if he agrees to have the reports done and turned in by 11. You wait for his affirmative reply.

You thank him, and then compliment him on his sales and the value that he adds to the company. You are not finished. After the meeting thank Jim for his commitment, and then, send an email to everyone with a few minutes from the meeting. Make sure that you again let everyone know that they need to have their reports in as Jim will need them to make his daily 11 o’clock deadline.

You send Jim a private email as well thanking him again, and letting him know how that you are happy about getting the reports on time. Let him know that you have passed around the email to everyone, and that they all know that he must have the reports in by 11:00. Go on to explain a little how the reports will be helpful in serving the customers that Jim values so highly. Ask him to send a response, letting you know that he received and read the email.

Jim has now committed publicly, he has been given a new label, and he sees how his reports will help his customers.

Psychologically there seems to be a strong correlation about taking an action to solidify commitments. Make them public, and get them in writing.

* In the Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, college students were asked to estimate the length of lines projected on a screen.

Group A. Were asked to write down their answers, sign them and hand them in.
Group B. Were asked to write their choices down on an erasable slate, and then erase their answers
Group C. Were asked to think of the answers and keep them to themselves

The experimenters then presented all three groups with evidence that their initial choices may have been wrong.

Group C, the ones that kept the answers to themselves, were easily persuaded to reconsider their answers.

Group B, were more loyal to their original answers and were not easily swayed from their answers

Group A, were the most reluctant to shift, they would not be persuaded that their answers were incorrect. They were committed to their answer and wanted to stay consistent.

Individuals will go through an amazing amount of personal and interpersonal pressure to remain consistent. Even in situations where it is not sensible to be that way. Consistency allows us to move through life much of the time without having to be introspective, without having to think through each process or decision that confronts us. Pros and Cons are diluted in Consistency, we just “keep the course” and follow through with our consistent behavior even if it is a path to our own detriment.

How can we use commitment and consistency in Marketing or in a positive way? Think about Jim’s story. Here is another quick story about a Puppy that changed a little boy’s label.

The story of the Puppy

Recently I was getting my hair cut and I was having a nice conversation with my hair stylist. She told me that her 7-year-old son Tyler was terrifed of dogs. Tyler would go into a panic attack every time he saw a dog. I asked the obvious question if he had ever been attacked by a dog, or seen anyone be attacked by a dog.

She said no. She said she could not understand why he was so frightened. She was even more distressed as she was to watch her sister’s brand new 6-week-old puppy for two weeks while her sister traveled. They had brought the puppy over to introduce to Tyler, and Tyler climbed up on the couch screaming, afraid to let his feet even off the couch if the puppy was nearby.

I asked Mary if she had discussed this with her son. I asked her if she had asked him why he was afraid, and IF her son had heard her use the words he is “afraid of dogs” or he is “scared to death” of dogs. I know I would hate to be scared to death of anything.

She said yes, that he had heard her speak to her husband this way as well as to friends over the phone. He had been labeled and formed a belief that yes, he was afraid of dogs. He was now performing in a way that was consistent with his label, what was expected of him.

I asked Mary if she would be willing to perform a very simple experiment that I thought might help. She readily agreed.

When your sister brings the puppy over, please have her keep the puppy in the dog carrier. I then want you to sit down on the floor with Tyler in front of the crate and I want you to talk to Tyler. I want you to tell Tyler that this is a baby puppy that is very fragile. This baby puppy needs an older brother, a friend, someone to look after him because he is very lonely. Tell him that this puppy will completely depend on him for love, and for food. Remind him that this puppy needs all of the things that a good mother or father would give. Tell him that you would like him to assume the role as the puppy’s father, as the provider. If the puppy is sick, he will let you know. Remind him that the puppy needs him just like he needs his parents. Let him also know that he will set up puppy rules and discipline the puppy, and help potty train the puppy.

Mary was very excited about this idea. I told her this would allow Tyler to create a new, more powerful belief in who he was. That now you would free him from being “scared to death” of dogs, and be more of a caretaker – a provider.

Last week I went back to Mary. I could tell that she was very excited. She said that she had talked with Tyler and that Tyler had assumed the role of the dog’s caregiver. She said that when they had to return the puppy to her sister that Tyler was very upset, and held the puppy in his lap all the way to her house.

Tyler and Mary have now decided to get their own dog. Being committed to consistency can control us and deprive us of things that can add value to our lives. But, if we find a positive way to change our beliefs and immediately replace that change with something empowering and fulfilling, we can break through the mold of consistency. Changed thinking can change behavior.


Copyright 2007 FMWebschool Inc. 800.353.7950 http://www.fmwebschool.com

* 1996 Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Delia Cioffi and Randy Garner

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The Psychology of Persuasion

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Behavioral scientist have found 6 basic laws that make up the science of persuasion. These 6 fundamental laws work by appealing to deeply rooted human needs.

The six basic laws are:

· Liking
· Reciprocity
· Social Proof
· Consistency
· Authority
· Scarcity

In this 6 part series we will solve the puzzle of persuasion one piece at a time.

Liking

What do Rapport, Connection and Affection all have in common? They are all a form of ‘Liking’. How important is Liking? Behavioral scientist have discovered that the more someone likes you or perceives you to be like them they are more willing to buy from you or feel compelled to perform a requested task.

Many of us remember the Tupperware revolution. Tupperware was king and it seemed like everyone was throwing a Tupperware party. These parties were so successful that there was a Tupperware party every 2.7 seconds somewhere in the world.

So what was behind the success of the Tupperware parties? Did a representative from Tupperware Inc. get neighborhoods together to buy Tupperware?

No, not quite, the genius behind the Tupperware success was that ordinary housewives would host Tupperware parties, and invite all of her neighborhood friends over. They would engage in conversation, eat hors d’oeuvres and then they would open their purses and buy and buy and buy.

Why? Because they like the hostess – they felt compelled to buy. They wanted to please the hostess, so they made the purchase. Even if they did not need the Tupperware they rationalized that they would find a use for it or give it away as a gift. (There are other powers at play here; many times 2-3 of the laws of persuasion comes into play. In this instance, Liking, Reciprocity, Social Proof and Consistency are also involved. Authority and Scarcity play very minor roles but are involved as well.) Tupperware became so successful with this business model that they closed out a majority of their retail outlets.
Businesses know how important it is for their clients and prospects to like them.

Automobile sales people are taught to ask questions and to look for clues that tell them about your likes and dislikes. For example, let’s say that you are trading in a car so you can purchase a new car. The salesman comes out to inspect the car. He takes a good look at you, shakes your hand and smiles, and then begins to inspect the trade-in. The salesman opens your trunk and sees a golf bag; he quickly makes a mental note. He continues the inspection, noticing a book on fishing on the front seat, and a couple of jazz cd’s. He now has an arsenal of information.

The salesman can now make friendly conversation with topics he knows you are interested. He might say, “Are you off work for the rest of the day, it’s a beautiful day to play golf.” Or he could ask you about your favorite place to fish or about jazz. He can then lead you down a path of bonding, showing you just how much you two are alike. Most good sales people will also use a myriad of techniques such as copying your body language, your voice patterns etc.. This builds up an even stronger connection.

How does the salesman close the deal? By complimenting you, by telling you that you look great in the new car, and that the car seems to fit your personality. He might add that I can tell you are the type of person that doesn’t settle for less than the best. Now as you read this, you may think to yourself, I would never be affected by false flattery. I wish I could agree, but human behavior can be a very tricky thing. Many times we don’t trust ourselves to be able to say “no” in a sales or pressure situation. How many of you have walked a huge semi circle around boy scouts selling cookies because you do not want to have to deal with the conflict. You may have just bought a box last week, but a part of you still feels uncomfortable – and you go to another door, or walk out of your way to avoid the situation.

The University of North Carolina published an article in the “Journal of Experimental Social Psychology” and here is what they discovered. *“Men felt the greatest regard for an individual who flattered them unstintingly even if the comments were untrue.”

The book Interpersonal Attraction (Addison-Wesley) showed that positive remarks (compliments, flattery) about another persons traits, attitude or performance reliably generates liking in return as well as willing compliance with the wishes of the person offering praise.

The final caveat is this. The sales person has adroitly used his “liking skills” to create a rapport with you. He still however has one more card up his sleeve to prove his friendship and accentuate his likeability.

The salesman’s manager will play the role of villain allowing your salesman to go to battle on your behalf for the new car. After experiencing this tempest that the salesman has endured and his selfless loyalty to get you a great deal, you now feel you have no recourse than to comply.

As you can see liking is very powerful, and when we are put in certain situations it is very difficult for us to say no.

Motivational Coach Tony Robins gives us an example of this. When Tony was in his teens he very much wanted to be successful, and he began selling motivational tapes door to door. He quickly figured out a way to guarantee the sale of his tapes. He would approach the house and talk about his tapes. He would say the tapes are only $99 but they will change your life! He would then ask, don’t you think these tapes could change your life? The person would agree with him, but then add – “I would love to buy the tapes, but I don’t have a tape recorder”, Tony would nod and say, “I see, but you do see the value of the tapes, but the only thing stopping you from making the purchase is you don’t have a tape recorder”. The person would say yes, thinking that they had won. Tony would then pull out a tape recorder from under his jacket and say. “Well if that was the only thing holding you back, I should have mentioned that the tapes come with a free tape recorder.” Feeling there was no place to retreat, the person would give in and buy. Unfortunately, our behaviors will make us remain consistent with who we are (or are at the moment) even to our detriment. Tony later said that he felt horrible selling this way, as it took advantage of basic human behaviors.

I certainly do not condone using Liking unethically. I feel that liking can be used in such a way to help bring you closer together with a client or a prospect. Liking can be gentle probing questions that allow you to find a commonality between you and your client. This will allow you to speak openly and freely with the individual and allow you to establish a true “Liking” and relationship. No strings attached.

No one likes to be duped, and you do not want to create animosity between yourself and your client. Find something that you truly like about your client and compliment them on that. It may be their work ethic, their family, their educational background, their knowledge of sports; their passion for reading, anything that is truly congruent with the way you feel will help build a positive “liking” relationship.

Friends like to do business with friends that have their best interest at heart.

In the next issue we will discuss the law of reciprocity.

Copyright 2007 Stephen Knight

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